Scruffy?

Further to yesterday's picture of my desk (and the suggestion that pah! it wasn't scruffy enough) here's a little video I took on my phone this morning of my office. So - all you doubting Douglases - is it scruffy enough? Or is it me...

Pics

First, something I promised Diane I'd do a while ago - post a picture of my workspace. It's my desk earlier in the week. I think, judging by the book on my desk, I'd just finished reading Errand, by Raymond Carver (very good and I have no idea why I'd not read it before).

***

And here's what the local press had to say about what my writing group (some of whom are pictured - Jenny, Betty and Karen) did for the local British Legion (some of whom are pictured - Harry Gaskell, and Anne Cave). I'm just chuffed and - I admit it - surprised my name's spelled right.

Very Good is The Artists' Enemy

I watched The Culture Show last night (and, of course, it had nothing to do with its presenter). U2 were on and Bono (love him or hate him, it's not particularly important) said something which struck a chord. He said, 'Very good is the enemy of Great.' And I think he's right. Artists don't tend to build careers on the strength of being very good, and there's quite a leap between being consistantly very good and great - BUT being very good can feel like a pretty decent place to be. I know (and I'm sure you do too) how important hard work is in any creative industry, I just thought that little quote gave it a terrific perspective.

So that's what I think about that. Just thought I'd share.

WORLD BOOK DAY/BOOK AID PRIZES

Here's a complete list of what you could win for £1.

All copies are signed - the draw will be drawn on March 5th, and all proceeds will go to Book Aid International.

If anyone would like tickets then drop me a line here.

A GENTLE AXE – R N MORRIS

SOCKS, SHOCKS AND SECRETS - LEILA RASHEED

THE DAUGHTER GAME - KATE LONG

MALONEY’S LAW  - ANNE BROOKE

TRADING TATIANA – DEBI ALPER

THE LETTERS – FIONA ROBYN

SAY AHHH, FINLEY PIG – EMILY GALE

SPLIT BY A KISS – LUISA PLAJA

CHANGELING – STEVE FEASEY

HARLEM RIVER BLUES (FISH 2008 ANTHOLOGY) – contributor – SARAH HILARY

I MET A ROMAN LAST NIGHT, WHAT DID YOU DO? – NIK PERRING

WRITING THERAPY – TIM ATKINSON

OUT OF A CLEAR SKY – SALLY HINCHCLIFFE

UNCLE ALONZO’S BEARD – EMMA KING-FARLOW

YUCKETEYPOO –JILLY HENDERSON-LONG

WAYS TO LIVE FOREVER – SALLY NICHOLLS

THE MUSIC OF OURSELVES – HARRY OWEN

LEADING THE DANCE - SARAH SALWAY

and on their way...

SADOMASOCHISM FOR ACCOUNTANTS - ROSY BARNES

THE WHITE ROAD AND OTHER STORIES - TANIA HERSHMAN

A SECRET ALCHEMY - EMMA DARWIN

And More Ashworth Goodness

... in a Waterstone's New Voices sort of shape. Very cool.

Click here for more links.

Cool Competition

Go to Jenn Ashworth's blog for a chance to win a copy of the above in a rather brilliant competition.

An Unreliable Reader's Review

This post was going to be a confessional, of sorts. It was going to be me telling you that I'm an unreliable reader. That I feel guilty. See, there are lots of books I want to read. I buy loads, I get sent some, and I want to read them all. But something happens. I know exactly what it is - it's a complete lack of time coupled with my being cautious of what I read while I'm writing (and I'm writing most of the time). So what ends up happening is many, many books get added to the To-Read pile, and they're often there for a long time.

But sometimes something strange happens. I don't know if it's me thinking sod it or just chance - but I'll buy a book and read it straight away. It's not planned, it's not that I fancy it more than the others that are waiting - it just happens (can you see why I'd feel guilty?).

But I'm not going to tell you (any more) about that. Because I have just finished one of the best books I've read, the reading of which, it just so happens, was precisely one of those jump-to-the-front-of-the-queue-without-reason occurrences. (And I hope that is more interesting than telling you what I haven't read.)

It's called Black Boxes and it's written by a very lovely lady by the name of Caroline Smailes. There's a strong possibility you'll have heard of her for it is she who's responsible for that terrific Black Box widget that's appeared on many a blog over the last few months.

Now, I don't do reviews (I'm no good at them, you know this) and I'm not going to go into too much detail about the book - wouldn't want to give too much away - but, but, but - I do want to tell you what I think.

The book tells the story, the recording of sorts, of the last hours of 37 year old Ana's life, which is about to end by her own hand. It's told in her own words and those words are told just beautifully. It's poetry, beautifully tragic and honest and brutal - as are the words we find in her teenaged daughter's diary.

The subject matter's not pretty - it's heart-breaking (no bad thing). But it's the story and the way it's told that makes it so brilliant. It's hypnotic, it's sad, it's beautiful, it's fresh, it feels original and, most importantly, it feels real. It's not easy to do haunting and affecting, and it's not easy to write about depressing situations convincingly and make them entertaining without relying on people's morbid curiosity (or just plain wallowing) - take it from me, Caroline Smailes has managed it here. And how.

I've mentioned here over the past few months how chuffed and lucky I've been to discover some utterly wonderful writers recently (Aimee Bender, Lorrie Moore and Etgar Keret most notably) and I'm chuffed and lucky again because Caroline Smailes has gone straight onto that list. Black Boxes is wonderful - in content, in story and in its telling. It could very easily be my book of the year.

I just wonder now what other gems I'm missing out on by not getting more stuck in to my To-Read pile.

Twit

Hmm, I'm Twittering. Or tweeting. Or whatever it is. I am not sure how long this will last but if you'd like to find out then you're welcome to follow me. Or just look at the Twitter thingumy in my sidebar.

World Book Day Raffle Tickets

If anyone would like to buy tickets for the raffle (£1) then please email me here.

World Book Day Raffle Books List

Here's a list (really, for the benefit of those who might be interested in buying a ticket) of all the books I've received for the World Book Day/Book Aid raffle - and above is a pic of how I've arranged them. Not quite as impressive as L's classroom displays but I have, I feel, done myself proud. 

A huge thanks to all who've contributed and to all whose books are in transit/waiting to be sent. I really, really, hope what we raise does justice to your generosity.

And the books are:

A GENTLE AXE – R N MORRIS

SOCKS, SHOCKS AND SECRETS - LEILA RASHEED

THE DAUGHTER GAME - KATE LONG

MALONEY’S LAW  - ANNE BROOKE

TRADING TATIANA – DEBI ALPER

THE LETTERS – FIONA ROBYN

SAY AHHH, FINLEY PIG – EMILY GALE

SPLIT BY A KISS – LUISA PLAJA

CHANGELING – STEVE FEASEY

HARLEM RIVER BLUES (FISH 2008 ANTHOLOGY) – contributor – SARAH HILARY

I MET A ROMAN LAST NIGHT, WHAT DID YOU DO? – NIK PERRING

WRITING THERAPY – TIM ATKINSON

OUT OF A CLEAR SKY – SALLY HINCHCLIFFE

UNCLE ALONZO’S BEARD – EMMA KING-FARLOW

YUCKETEYPOO –JILLY HENDERSON-LONG

WAYS TO LIVE FOREVER – SALLY NICHOLLS

THE MUSIC OF OURSELVES – HARRY OWEN

Radio

Apologies for the scruffy layout of the radio bits below - it was the only way that I could upload a series of instalements (the show's an hour long so it would have been a right big bugger to download whole).

***

My story 'An Unhappy Man' didn't win the Six Sentences award it was nominated for, congrats to Peggy whose story did - and also a huge thanks to Rob, the editor, for sending me a certificate and for doing such a terrific job.

Radio 6

The final instalment.

NikPerringCanalsideRadio6.m4a

Radio 5

Part 5

NikPerringCanalsideRadio5.m4a

Radio 4

Part 4

NikPerringCanalsideRadio4.m4a

Radio 3

Part 3

NikPerringCanalsideRadio3.m4a

Radio 2

Part 2

NikPerringCanalsideRadio2.m4a

Radio Nik

Part One of my appearance on Liz Stringer's show on Canalside Radio

NikPerringCanalsideRadio1.m4a

Rosy Barnes Interview

Finally, I am able, with considerable pleasure, to share with you my interview with Rosy Barnes who, when I asked her for a bio said 'wrote plays, did journalism, wrote book'. More here.

(I would add that she's a terrific writer and a very nice person.) 

So, on with it...

 

So Rosy, tell us about your book. Who’s it for and what’s it about? Is it a How-To?

Well I have had reports of some friends being directed to the reference section of their local bookshops…(It’s fiction! Fiction! Made up, not real!)

It’s interesting that you ask who it’s for. I have no idea who it’s for. It was a mad idea that just came to me suddenly in a flash. About an overlooked rather unspectacular woman, who is dumped by her pompous accountant boyfriend and ends up going to a fetish club to prove she’s exciting and win him back and all the mad characters she meets there. It’s a sort of clash of worlds/clash of values kind of comedy. A bit like The Bird Cage, I always say.

There are four main pov characters: two women and two men (not all nice!) and I would say the story is slightly more Paula’s - but only by a whisker. I’m hoping that people will recognise themselves or someone they know if they are geeks, accountants, fetishists or accountants: men and women both.

 

What, in your opinion as a writer of comedy, is funny?

Ooo. Crumbs. Do you mean in general? Or in terms of specific examples of comedy writing?

In general what I find funny is the way people think and the gap between who they are and how they want others to see them: the way they justify what they do versus the real “why” they do what they do.

Is sex/fetishism naturally a funny thing?

Well I do think sex can be quite funny. And as a society it is something we laugh about because it embarrasses us yet we have a prurient interest in the sex lives of other people at the same time.

It’s one of my bugbears how few believable sex scene you get in Hollywood films – or arty films for that matter. It’s either all heaving and gasping or its seedy, soulless and depressing. Where are the gigglers or the people throwing each other off because they’re too ticklish?

As for fetish, when I was researching the book I found all sorts: from balloon fetishists to people who like to dress up as inflatable martians…so the scope for comedy is quite – umm – broad.

Are accountants?

Oh yes. Unless you meet one. No no no, some of my best friends…

(I’ll shut up now, shall I?)

Is writing things that are funny something that someone can learn? Or are comedy/comic writers special?

Hmmm. That’s an interesting question. I don’t think comedy writers are special as such but I do think some people naturally write comedically and other people don’t. I think that comedy is often about looking at the same things but through a different lens. I’m not sure you can learn a way of looking at things as such.

But, contrary to the idea of the comedy writer giggling away over the typewriter – for me, comedy is very technical and that is about learning. I am amused the first time I write something. But after that it becomes about how to release the humour in terms of exact wording and timing. For example the famous line in Hitchhikers about the Vogon ships: “The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don’t”. This line continues to fascinate me. It is simple. It is accessible. There is nothing arty-farty about it. But there is the funny idea of hanging in the air like a brick. And then that brilliant fullstop of the “don’t” - which swings your mind right back to the beginning of the sentence again to go “eh?”. And there is just something about the sound of that line, something about the way the “don’t” unbalances it that so beautifully reflects the idea of a heavy object balancing in space exactly as it is impossible to do. So it’s a perfect mix of joke, idea, image and rhythm. Image and rhythm are very very important to me.

This is what I find so fascinating about comedy. That when you get a line like that it has a cleverness and brilliance about it. But, at the same time, it is humble. It isn’t being profound. But it almost could be. Sort of.

What’s your writing process?

Hmm. As I’m struggling to write a second novel at the moment I can’t for the life of me remember what my process was. It seems so long ago I started writing Sadomasochism for Accountants.

Basically, I decided on a key moment, a set-piece scene (I love set-piece scenes and believe all comedies should have them and go for it to the max). Then I aim towards it. Then, invariably I get stuck. Then I cry. Then I eat pizza. Then I moan on (and on and on) to my boyfriend. Then we walk round the block a few times together with me talking the whole thing out whilst he wonders why I never show any interest in his hard day at the computer-face. During which conversation something clicks into place and I get going again.

Then I have it all I wrestle and wrestle and wrestle and wrestle the structure (which is usually thrashing around like a 8 headed hydra at this point) until it works. This is arduous and exhausting and involves a lot of weeping and pizza etc (see above).

After this it is editing and editing and editing until I want to stab myself through the right ventrical with my retractable pencil.
How long did Sadomaochism For Accountants take you to write?

A frighteningly long time. It is hard to tell in exact terms as there are so many gaps and long periods of waiting in the publishing process. Too long. Far far too long. (Just thinking about it makes me feel depressed.)

Was there any particular aspect that proved particularly difficult?

The club stuff was difficult. It was hard to get a balance between the fact these were “the goodies” and making the characters interesting. Who wants to read about nice people, after all? (Apparently, according to all the “rules” I’m in the minority on this. I don’t want to feel with and yearn with the heroine. I want entertaining characters and a certain boldness that makes me think “you devil, you” about the author.)

I felt self-conscious about the club characters – I didn’t want to be seen to be taking the piss out of their eccentricities. Hell, I LIKE eccentricity. In the end I realised that the characters’ comedy and humanity came from the same place: the gap between how they wanted to be seen and how they really were (a universal tragedy for us all I think!) When I started to concentrate on this, it all started to come together.

Was there any research involved?

Ah the million dollar question! (Wiggly eyebrow, wiggly eyebrow.) Ahem.

No comment.

I know a number of writers read this blog, any tips for them?

Tips? From me? Goodness, I don’t know. I suppose the advice I give other people whose work I rate but who are struggling to get agents or whatever is there is so much advice sloshing around all over the place – listen to it, but filter it carefully. Writing forums can be a great source of knowledge and advice, but no one will write in the same style as you so you have to find your own way through in the end, whatever happens.

And the other thing I’d say is that writers do tend to talk of the publishing industry as some faceless lump with one way of doing things, whereas it’s made up of lots of different people with different tastes, things they are looking for and ways of doing things. This can be a particularly liberating thought when you are standing by the postbox frozen with fear about sending off your latest submission.

I realise that was all advice to unpublished writers. To published…I can’t imagine they need my advice.

What’s next for you?

Another book. I have a strong concept but I’m struggling at the moment to unlock the thing that’ll make it really work. But I have faith.

Anything you’d like to add?

Please all readers of Nik’s blog - buy my book and I’ll buy a large virtual round of pints for you all.

***

There will be a launch party for Sadomasochism For Accountants at The Poetry Cafe in Covent Garden on the 18th with a couple of burlesque accountants twirling their umbrellas for the audience's enjoyment. 

I'm Back

Right. Internet's sorted (grumbles loudly. And again.).

The wonderful interview with Rosy Barnes (whose debut novel is out TODAY!!!!!) to follow soon.

Happy P Day to her, and happy V day to all you lovers.

Error

Hmm. Well, this is a first - blogging from the library. My internet's down at home so, I've not been able to bring you a terrific interview with Rosy Barnes today as planned. It will be here just as soon as possible.

Bear with me.

Mine's A Face For Radio

My appearance at Canalside Radio went well, I think (if anyone listened you'll be able to tell me better...). 

So, while I fiigure out how to upload the recording of the show, here's a picture, taken once we'd come off air, of me and the presenter, the lovely Liz Stringer (I'm the one with the beard).

Turn on, Tune in

So, tomorrow, from about quarter to twelve I will be on radio (you can listen online here). This is a first for me so it'll definitely be interesting and hopefully fun too. Here's hoping. I'll be talking generally about writing and what I do and what I'm doing for World Book Day and Book Aid and things. 

***

And the lovely and talented Sarah Hilary has tagged me with this:

List at least five things you do to support and spread a love of the written word, then tag five people. (If you list something that touches youngsters, you get a bonus letter!)

so I shall oblige.

1. I write stories and publish them.

2. I keep this blog and mention, whenever I can (read: remember) literature of interest, hopefully pointing people in the direction of things they might not otherwise have found.

3. When I can I interview writers here, giving them the opportunity to show readers here their stuff (see the sidebar on the right for links and watch this space for a couple which are due soon).

4. I teach a writing group.

5. I order books through my library. Now, that might not sound particularly great, but (PLR aside) when the titles are obscure/from small presses there's a strong chance that the library will buy a copy, thus resulting in it being on the shelf for people to be aware of.

6. I teach workshops in schools (BONUS POINTS!!!).

7. I'm a member (and former Site Host) of an online writing community.

8. I read and BUY literary mags and journals.

And I tag: Jenn Ashworth, Rosy Barnes, Lane, Kay Sexton, and both Aliya and Neil.

Trains and Buttons and Age and Stuff

It was a nice thing to be able to get away for the weekend. It was probably the first time I'd been away properly since May or June last year, what with my ailments and all. And I'm happy to say that Brackley, the trains and the weather were all kind (and that's despite me taking a considerable topple on the snow on our way out, with our host, for food. Said host and L (it's L now, not My Beloved for your ref. - because that's what she prefers) thought it amusing though). Woah. Brackets within brackets - crazy. 

On the way down I listened to the terrific short story, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, by F Scott Fitzgerald (I'd no idea it was his story) which I loved and would recommend in a trice. Especially as it was free. (If you're on itunes, go to podcasts and whack  'short story' into the search wossname and it should come up...).

***

And some links:

This post on writing and age by Faye L Booth is great and interesting, and not only because I'm only a year younger than her.

And this brilliant round-up of competitions and such from Tania Hershman. Doesn't her new-look blog look good?

***

And there's still time to vote for my story on Six Sentences (I'm in third now so if you're going to vote now's the time!).

Seeing Things

This has been a week of many meetings, all of them local, which meant that I could take advantage of the roads being dodgy, leave the car shivering under a blanket of white, and walk. Here's what I snapped on Monday - not something I'd have seen if I'd have driven - and that's what's nice about it.

Tomorrow I'm travelling south. I hope the weather's kind...

*

And the 6 Sentences poll is still open, so you can still vote for my story, should you want to.

If The World Are Green Peppers Then I am a Red One

It's because I'm different, see? And you can see me talking about being different in my guest post over at Strictly Writing.

*

Right. I'm off to brave the snow. I think I'll walk to my meeting. Now, where's my hat?

*

And you can still vote for my story over at Six Sentences. If you like it of course.

Giving

Last night was great because we (my writing group) finally got to present our local branch of the British Legion with a cheque for the money we raised for them. I have no idea how many copies of the small collection of poems and stories we sold, but I do know that we raised over £620.

The above picture is of me (looking particlarly cardboard-like for some reason) handing the cheque to Harry Gaskell, formerly of the Royal Navy. The lady to his right, Jenny, deserves most of the credit, because it was she who did all the legwork and selling of the book, and she was the one who convinced me to put it together in the first place.

Great stuff.

This Is Not A Criticism

As such. More of an observation. And something I've been pondering.

It's to do with submissions. To do with us writers sending off our stuff to try to be published in good places. In the places we like to go. The mags, journals, ezines we like to read.

And really, it's just one aspect of the process, which I should add doesn't always happen, that I've been thinking about.

It's this. 

You send something out (to somewhere you know, you enjoy and you respect). You get no acknowledgement that your piece has arrived with them (it probably says so in the guidelines). After X amount of time (say, three months as an average) the guidelines say you're allowed to query. So you query. Politely. You get nothing back. You leave it another few weeks before emailing again. Still nothing. So you withdraw the piece, by email, and get no response to that either.

By which time four months have passed. And you've had no contact. It's like your story's been in a void for getting on for half a year. Strange.

And it really isn't a criticism, though I think that in a lot of cases things could be better for us writers. I know editors are busy, I know they receive plenty of submissions. I know they have procedures in place and that it's in their interests to get things read as soon as they can and that they've mags to run and lives to live and that everyone else submitting is, theoretically, in the same position. I know they're underpaid (um, like us writers).

It just feels like a strange situation. And I thought I'd share.

Any thoughts?

A Nomination

I've just been notified (thanks Sarah) that my story An Unhappy Man has been nominated for the month's best stories over at Six Sentences. Which is terrific to hear. The winner is decided by readers' votes. Here's the link. If you like my story, click my name. Please.

***

And now I'm going to go out and walk in the snow for a little while, to clear my head before I get back to the writing. The type of snow we're getting is really cool - it's that fine that, in the street lamps of the evening yesterday, it looked like Pullman's dust.